My Favorite Advice for Pre-Marriage and Marriage Counseling

” All that jeopardizes companionship must be avoided; whatever promotes it must be cultivated.”  — Jay E. Adams

Marriage is a covenant of companionship (Genesis 2:18, 24). The Westminster Confession of Faith says, “Marriage was ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife.” Indeed. And marriage is not merely a mutual help, it is an excellent help and comfort.

If you are married, then you need to know what the enemies of companionship are, e.g., selfishness, fear, loneliness, separation (i.e., unnecessary sustained absence), hatred, sin in general, etc. And you need to run away from and avoid those things like the plague.

You also need to know what promotes companionship, e.g., selflessness, love, proximity (i.e., being present together), honesty, truth, beauty, goodness, etc. And you need to pursue those things like a bloodhound hot on a trail.

Companionship is hard work. It takes personal effort to identify, avoid, or deal with things antithetical to companionship. It takes personal effort, discipline, and, sometimes, even sacrifice, to schedule and dedicate time to cultivate companionship with your spouse.

Yes, companionship is hard work. But it is worth it.

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